unmet expectations
I didn’t realize how much of an issue unmet expectations were in my life until I packed my bags and moved overseas last summer. International travel has a way of bringing out the worst ( & the best!) in you for sure. I had to grapple with my unmet expectations as I stepped into a completely new culture, *attempted* to learn a new language, and worked and served alongside a team of people who had been strangers up until this point.
In the Lord’s sweet and tender way, He wrecked my expectations of what life was going to be like overseas because He wanted to EXCEED my expectations in ways that I could have never even imagined myself. He asked me to open my hands and let go so that He could give me something far greater. What a good and gracious Father He is!
I wish I could say that my struggle with unmet expectations went away after my time abroad, but unfortunately, that’s not the way it is. A few weeks later, I entered a completely new season of life when I moved away to go to college. The anticipation had been building for years now. I couldn’t wait to go to my dream school, study a subject that I’m passionate about, make the best of friends, start dating an amazing man of God, and get as involved as possible.As you can expect, I was hit with a tidal wave of unmet expectations. Now, a semester into my freshman year, I look back and laugh a little over what I thought college would be like. I also grieve the ways that my unmet expectations have affected my own heart and the way that I treat other people. In my sinful nature, I place unrealistic expectations on people in my life and then act out in anger in frustration when they don’t live up to those set expectations I have for them. As a result of clinging so tightly to my expectations, I become miserable as I can never seem to be content with my circumstances.
For those of you who wrestle with this issue as well, take heart. Though I constantly fall short, I am learning daily how to manage my expectations in a healthy way. First of all, I have to intentionally hide God’s Word in my heart and continually remind myself of His grace and kindness towards me. Thank goodness He does not hold us to unrealistic standards of perfection! By choosing to set my mind on the things of the Lord, I am able to shift my focus from my disappointing circumstances to His never-changing character. I have also seen incredible growth in this area of my life through surrounding myself with strong believers who are willing to call me out when I am holding onto unrealistic expectations. I truly cannot thank God enough for the people in my life that speak the truth in love, even when it is not easy.
I want to leave you with these verses from Isaiah 55 that I often recall when I am wrestling with unmet expectations. I hope they are an encouragement to your heart and soul as they are to my own.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
- Isaiah 55:8-9
With love & prayers,
Addie Rose